manusia kejam

Laporan Utusan Malaysia semalam, 10 Sept 2008

manusia kejam ini x sepatutnye d gelar manusia...berita semalam membuatkn aku dan teman2 serumah t'diam seketika tatkala mendengar berita yg menyayat hati itu...t'gamak mereka b'tindak sedemikian rupa...pd aku la, klu nk merompak, menyamun sekali pn, jgn la smpi nk jadikn mangsa sbgai tebusan, sehingga mengorbankn org len yg x b'salah...jenayah oh jenayah...kau berada d mana-mana...kdg2 tmpt yg kita rse paling selamat 2 la yg m'datangkn rse tidak selamat pd diri kita...aku cuma b'harap keluarga En. Mohd. Yusuf Abdul tabah menghadapi dugaan yg berat ini dan mereka m'dpt pembelaan yg sewajarnya...Al-Fatihah buat allahyarham Raja Noriana Raja Ahmad, semoga rohnya d cucuri rahmat, dan d tempatkn dlm golongan2 umat yg b'iman...Amin

apa nk jadi

manusia ni mmg d lahirkn dgn perasaan yg x pernah puas...de je bnde yg x kena...x penah nk rse b'syukur atas pe yg Allah da berikn...ak bknnye mgutuk sesape, ni hakikat yg ak tujukn pd diri sndr...tp pd sesapa yg trase 2, naseb korg la kn...

tp ak de 1 situasi...tp x sure la ptt ke x ak meluahkn situasi t'sebut dlm blog ni...yela, ak xnk la pisang b'buah 2 kali...sekali kne, xkn la x serik2 lg...oleh itu demi m'jaga hati pihak2 yg t'libat...bek ak rahsiakn shj cite itu...lgpn org yg ak mksdkn 2, kawan ak jgk..mst dia pn x ske klu ak hebahkn cite dia 2 pd public...cuma yg wat ak x phm, pe la yg dia x puas ati sgt...bnde 2 dtg ngn full package tp dia still x puas ati lg...pe yg sbnrnye dia harapkn...xde pe pn kt dunia ni yg sempurna, so knpe msti dia mntk ak wat sumthing like 'dat', its funny actually ble fikir2 blk...mngkin cite ni t'lmpau discreet smpi org pn x phm pe yg ak nk smpikn sbnrnye...tp ini lebih bek drpd ak spill everything in here, n end up b'gado ngn org 2...

pd ak ni la gunanye blog...tmpt ak nk spill everything, cite sedih (wuwuwuwu), cite hepi (:D), cite yg bese2, xpn kengkadang merapu je ikut ske kt cni...ak anggap blog as a therapy..hehe...weird ke??klu pn ak pelik, lg ramai org yg lg pelik drpd ak kt luar sne..sekian shj berita pd hr ini..wassalam

Padah bermulut lancang

Terlajak perahu boleh di undur
Terlajak kata buruk padahnya

I'M SORRY

even tho i didnt start today with a big smile on my face (sbb since jd demo lab, tetiap hr isnin je ak dh stat bad mood, if only budak2 tu x wat ak pening kepala..mmm)...tp as soon as ak bukak frenste, i notice something in 1 of my fren's profile...he adds something new pd frenste dia, which is sooo not him, n thats make me laugh really big...n the only word yg keep spinning dlm kepala ak ni...P**HE*** + L**** (kne letak asterisk, kot2 dia t'baca bnde ni, n dia tau ak kutuk dia, sj cr nahasss.hehehe)...i know, its not a good thing to say that to ur fren, tp dh xleh nk cover, mmg tu jela ayat yg sesuai ak gunakn..muahaha...I'M SOOO EVIL

tp bila fikir2 balik, i can see the reason why he did that...mybe dorg dh berbaik2 kot, thats why la...n hopefully dia x sebok2 b'cerita pd ak lg, n this time i really hope it lasts, stop bothering me with ur problems...ak pnt jd tpt aduan masalah ni...ak pn de mslh ak sndr okke...n smpi skrg ak msh boleh t'gelak (klu leh siap nk golek2 atas lantai, tp nnt kotor baju, n org kate x sopan plak, gile pn ye...bahaya!!)...

n 1 more thing...i got a crazy proposition from 1 of my frens too (ni kwn lain)...let me rephrase, "CRAZY" proposition, got it??...i still cant believe he actually said all of those things, so weird n believe me i still cant get myself to believe all the things he said...i'm not the sort of a person yg cpt sgt terima kenyataan...not like my sis, yg xleh klu org provoke dia, dia terima je...klu org kata A, A la, x leh tukar2 jd B ke, Z ke...this simply because sy ni x mudah percayakn org...tp mybe one of these days, i'll believe him (maybe)...its hard to start all over again, u know, believing n trusting...its not easy, i've let my guard down before, n its ugly...juz ruin everything...so, basically i've a concrete reason to be paranoid, rite??



"life is unpredictable...sometimes it can be fun, frustrating, wonderful, n even heartbreaking...but that what makes it so beautiful..."

~~~~~~~------~~~~~~~

this is juz soooo pathetic...in order for us in this house to get free access to wifi available from kfc downstairs...we have to actually grab a chair and sit at the balcony, juz to get a signal...this is insane, however i'm not gonna complaint much coz like i said...its free, so juz have to deal with it

Yesterday

080808

nice numbers, only comes once in a lifetime...were said to be the luckiest day for the chinese (n for most of the people who believe it)...however, that day were not the lucky date for some...a friend of mine lost her sister, yesterday early morning (not really sure the COD, but my friend's sister had been in a coma for about 3 months, if i'm not mistaken)...n i lost a friend just before the clock strikes twelve (just 'lost', not dead)

i'm not crying (i did, last night, for about 5 minutes, i guess)...but after that, it seems like everything went back to normal...as if nothing ever happens...i dunno, i guess i'm not really serious, not really care, not really sincere having that relationship at the first place...who knows it better other than Him, so i put everything in His hands...for quite some time i think about the decision that i made last night...as far as i know, everything that i ever promise about this special yet complicated friendship, i never take it seriously...not even once, i broke each and every little promises...n yet somehow, i never regret any of it...it has been a roller coaster journey, which had never been intended at the very beginning...but still, i try to put everything behind me...i know it will never come to a good end, neither do i know that it will going to be this bad...having said all that, i'm wishing for his well-being n happiness from afar

and as a servant to His Almighty, all i can do is seeking His forgiveness n praying for all the great things in life to come...not only for me, but for others as well...

"WHEREVER YOU GO AND FIND DARKNESS IN YOUR LIFE, WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO IS TO LIGHT THE LAMP WITHIN YOURSELF"

"Lessons Learned" by Carrie Underwood

There's some things that I regret,
Some words I wish had gone unsaid,
Some starts,
That had some bitter endings,
Been some bad times I've been through,
Damage I cannot undo,
Some things,
I wish I could do all all over again,
But it don't really matter,
Life gets that much harder,
It makes you that much stronger,
Oh, some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were,
Lessons learned.

[Chorus:]
And every tear that had to fall from my eyes,
Everyday I wondered how I'd get through the night,
Every change, life has thrown me,
I'm thankful, for every break in my heart,
I'm grateful, for every scar,
Some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned.

There's mistakes that I have made,
Some chances I just threw away,
Some roads,
I never should've taken,
Been some signs I didn't see,
Hearts that I hurt needlessly,
Some wounds,
That I wish I could have one more chance to mend,
But it don't make no difference,
The past can't be rewritten,
You get the life you're given,
Oh, some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were,
Lessons learned.

And all the things that break you,
Are all the things that make you strong,
You can't change the past,
Cause it's gone,
And you just gotta move on,
Because it's all,
Lessons learned.

p/s am i learning my lessons yet? only He knows

embarrassment

not a great thing to start ur day with...

lack of sleep?? (i dun think so...definitely)

unfocused??
wandering??
day dreaming??
hypnotized??

wow...so may excuses...however, it is more embarrassing when someone else saw it...huahuahua
it is nothing actually, tp sy t'jatuh dr tangga..hehe...bkn lah jatuh t'golek2 down the stairs, cuma lost my balance when climbing up the stairs (???)

cite psl tangga ni...nnt kalau de rumah sndr (kalau la kn)...nk wat spiral staircase la...or something like this one ...looks kinda nice...hehe


satu lg keje x b'faedah ak buat hr ni...amik test of "Which Desperate Housewife U Are?"...hehe
n i think test tu x accurate pn...ada ke dia kate ak ni mcm Bree...even though ak minat ngn Marcia Cross who plays the Bree character...that doesn't mean i'm like her...duh!! (very the penipu ok!!)

p/s: meaningless web wandering - as always
not-so-meaningless web wandering - how to prepare standard solution (kne wat
smula...waaaa, mlsnye!!!)

Heard a tragic story last week, tp br b'kesempatan nk write bout it today...beyond my expectation n beyond my consciousness level...it's mental...no need to tell what it is...hanya akan melukakan hati yg mengetahui...btw, it's not about me, nevertheless i feel sorry for her...

n i found this sad love quotes...which i felt very, very close to me...tp, mybe this time i wanna dedicate this to 'her'...be strong my fren, as my sis used to tell me "big girls dun cry"!!!

I keep telling myself that I don't miss you,
and that I don't love you,
hoping someday I'll believe it.

Love is letting go,
even when you don't want to.
Love is letting him be happy
even when it doesn't involve you.
Love is being okay with just being friends
Love is being able to say goodbye
because you know its the best thing for him
Love is letting go

Letting go of someone dear to you is hard,
but holding on to someone who doesn't
even feel the same is much harder.
Giving up doesn't mean you are weak!
It only means that you are strong enough to let go!

We are the perfect couple,
we're just not in the perfect situation.

True love leaves a memory no one can steal
and a heartache no one can heal

Its hard to pretend you love someone when
you don't but its harder to pretend that
you don't love someone when you really do.

naik minyak!!!!!

haha...kelmarin (rabu) me+mira+k.mun+dayah g alamanda...well, for what purposes other than shopping...hehe, tp xdela nk shopping sgt pn...sume pn wat muka ala2 nk save bajet ;p (esp mira, sian kne caj dkt rm600 sbb nk servis kete je...)

well, at last umh ktorg de tv br...wuhooo, thnx to k.mun, sbb for the last 2 weeks ktorg duk melopong je...masing2 dh mcm org sewel sbb x tgk tv...mcm xtau dunia luar plak...note, tv yg slame ni di hadap tetiap hr adalah milik x-rumate, so since dia dh out of the house, ktorg dh hilang source of entertainment...u guys don wanna know pe yg anak2 dara leh borakkn when there is no tv around.hehehe (evil laugh!!!!)

however, pe kne mengena cite di atas ngn title entry ni ek?? hehe, xdela, on that very night, br tau yg harga petrol nek like dunno...78 sen kot...well, it makes rm2.70/liter rite??mahal tu...klu dl kete kancil full tank pn x smpi rm50 tp skrg over rm50...of course there is a huge difference...lg besar tank msti la lg byk kne byr, tul x...mmm, tah la...de mmber tegur "ni la, spe suh undi pak lah!!" (eh2, sy x reti nk ckp2 politik ni...out of topik plzzzz)...n nk ckp, yg stesen petronas dkt upm tu line pnjg giler mse ktorg lalu lps blk dr alamanda...

mira: nsb bek kita isi minyak sblm g alamanda td...mati nk beratur, pjg giler line
dayah: yela, sume org pn panik...tibe2 harga minyak nek...kata bln 8 br nk nek
aku: ....................

the end

eh..eh...not the end yet...smlm dgr kt 8tv lagu ni...sound so 'opera'...yela, yg nyanyi pn pelakon phantom of the opera...let's hear 'Slow me Down' by Emmy Rossum....



p/s: in some part of my life, i need to slow down as well...

am i??

someone told me "erina, be a good girl from now on..."

de lg smbgn pd ayat tu, but let me juz keep that to myself...but i told myself, how can i be a good girl when i'm not-so-good girl to begin with...tp, tu sume adalah judgement pd diri saya sendiri...well, whatever it is...i'll try ok, i'll try to be a good girl from now on...i guess, klu saya cuba sedaya upaya, xkn ada istilah mustahil...anything is possible if we try our best...i'll try to be optimistic rite now even though that's the hardest thing yg nk dilaksanakn...rsenye lebih mudah utk being negatif rather than be positif...knpe ek?? i wonder why...mmmm

tp pape hal pn...no matter how hard or difficult it may be...let juz assume de something yg lebih baik menunggu pada masa akan datang...