me

i dont even know the relevance in publishing this post, but let just say that i want people to know. i am not pleading for any acceptance, sympathy or for people to even understand me.

1. i never start a conversation (except for a very certain reasons, i do). but if a person that i know suddenly stop talking to me due to a certain misunderstanding, let just say i wont be the first person to start the conversation. never. i dont have the reasons. i just dont.

2. i dont like to be ordered around. this can be understand from my early childhood behavior. i am rebellious. i rebel when people told me what i should do. when i was younger, i tought that was just a feeling of being a teenager. but as i grow older, i still feel quite the same even though it is not as bad. some people called it stubborn. but i think i have a disorder. communication disorder. also, i have trouble mingle around with new people. i have difficulties in making a connection with humans. some sort of like autism. but not the obvious autism. i think. but my sister said that is just socially awkward.

3. i dont have many friends. i dont really trust people. i have trust issues.

i guess that just it for now. i'll blog about this thing some other time. till then.