being different makes you look weird

yes, i got the stare, i got the glare, when i said i want something different. something not common to the malay wedding custom. something out of the norm. i got it.

believe me, it is hard. hard to manage, hard to make a stand on your own. but luckily, i have parents who are not that typical parents. who are so easy to deal with. who thinks that "this is your wedding, you do it as you want it". thanks mak abah.

it is so hard to make people understand my opinion. to make people believes the importance of having the most important things done, rather than thinking about the unnecessary matters. my mom always said "jangan dengar cakap orang, sebab mulut manusia tak pernah boleh ditutup, perasaan puas takkan pernah dapat dipenuhi, jadi buat seikhlas hati, asalkan diri sendiri puas hati". she's got a point, sampai bila nak puaskan hati orang lain je kerjanya, sedangkan diri sendiri terpaksa berperang dengan perasaan serba salah. as if, the people around yang tolong buat keputusan, not me. which is so wrong. and i hate that.

i read somewhere on a blog, yang dia tak mahu itu, tapi mahu ini, but it seems so out of the norm, but not a wrong thing to do pun, tapi disebabkan bukan tradisinya begitu, so it sounds wrong to do so. which sounds lots of crap to me. just because you want something different, something out of the norm, doesnt make you look weird. it makes you stands out actually. nampak so strong nak tegakkan apa yang kita nak for the wedding. as for me, LESS is definitely MORE. i want less hassle, less problems, less argument. but i'm really hoping for more love, more care, more blessing from friends and families and definitely Allah swt.

the marriage is more important than the wedding. think more of the marriage and less for the wedding. that is what i'm doing rite now, n that is what i'm gonna teach my future child.

and i'm glad i'm not alone thinking bout the dilemma, thanks to my bf for supporting every decisions that i made. hope it worth every sweat and tears that i've been putting in.

hope nothing goes wrong. i'm praying really hard on that. insyaAllah.